Saturday, September 26, 2020

Domestic Violence: My Stalking Ex!

Stalking is at an alarming rate! I can't quote statistics but I know it's gotten ridiculous since the pandemic. Are people mean because of quarantine? I don't know but what I do know is that my ex-husband has completely lost his mind. Maybe he's lonely and needs a reminder of our divorce that was finalized two years ago or maybe he's putting a toxic substance into his body that's influencing his bad behavior. Whatever the case, it's gotten out of hand. I had to file a police report in early April only for him to not be served until early June. He has harassed me via private phone calls, text messages and social media. Thankfully he hasn't shown up unannounced but my family and I stay on alert. The messages he sent were so vile and disrespectful. I blocked him of course, all forty-something fake accounts to be exact. Yep, he's crazy as a bat!

So anyway, he didn't show up for court in July, claiming to be sick, yet was posting happy selfies online. The district attorney stated that if he failed to appear the following court date scheduled for August, he would be held in contempt and a warrant issued for his arrest. Well, he didn't show up nor did he call/answer the calls of his court appointed attorney, who doesn't even know who he is or what he looks like. So a warrant was issued for his arrest but GUESS WHAT??? He was NEVER arrested. I had to contact the court and police to find out what's going on. "We can't locate him, do you have an address or contact for him?"........WTH?? I've given you all of the info (months ago...nothing has changed) and if you just follow his social media, he clearly shows where he's residing and working. This guy is not only facing misdemeanor stalking charges but has the audacity not to show up for court and gets away with it! That's when it dawned on me that they don't intend to do anything about it....until he kills me! Then he'll be arrested for my murder...God forbid. I mean, what the world is wrong with the law? One of my neighbors phoned 911 to report a breaking and entering recently but they never showed up. She could have been in grave danger. They are aware that crimes against women are at an all time high. Yet, they are not catching any of these scumbags until they've caused harm to their victims. Oh I see officer, you're too afraid of Covid19 to protect and serve but some of you can kill unarmed black citizens during the pandemic, right? Again, WTH??

So ladies, we are on our own and must protect ourselves. I have another court date scheduled for September but he probably won't show up, since he WON'T be arrested or held accountable. SMH!! Here are a list of things that I've done to help myself against my crazy ex-husband that may help you:

1. File charges with the magistrates office/police department. Don't allow anyone to threaten or harass you. You can do something about it. Get a restraining order in place. That's a start!

2. Protect yourself and your children. Familiarize yourself with the gun laws in your state and comply. Get a permit or if you're in the state of North Carolina, you can own a shotgun without one. Be safe!

3. Try not to be alone when you go out. Ask a close friend or relative to accompany or even drive you, so the vehicle is not familiar to your stalker. Don't be afraid to ask for help and make others aware of what's going on, so they will have your back.

4. Keep a diary of every incident or attempt that occurs. Screenshot messages/calls and print them all out according to dates and times. You're going to need these documents for court as proof because these fools are never honest and they will lie to a judge's face without even blinking.

5. Block him, his mama, and all of his cousins and them. They are on his side and part of the reason why the police can't capture him, but do they get into trouble? Absolutely not! If you can take a break from social media, do so or make your account private for your own peace of mind. At least do so until the matter is settled or justice is served. Don't engage! Let him be a ding-bat all by himself and just document everything (refer to number 4).

6. Please be careful and don't underestimate someone who has completely lost it! Also, please know that it's not you, it's them! They are using you as an outlet instead of seeking the help they truly need. Don't listen to their lies, excuses or bull crap! Don't open the door but instead call 911 if they show up on your doorstep. Don't try to reason with them. You are not a psychologist. Take care of you!!!

7. If you don't have a prayer life, I suggest you get one. God is real and he answers prayer. He provides a peace that surpasses all understanding. So, don't be afraid to seek God and His guidance during tough times.

8. Don't be discouraged or feel defeated. You are strong, powerful and brave! You can get through this and win!

9. Hang in there! You got this, Sis! You are loved and deserve the peace you are fighting for.

10. You are not alone! So if you need to talk to someone, there is survivor support at or call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Do what you have to in order to find solace. Most importantly, stay safe and alive!

God bless....Much Love!

UPDATE: My ex-husband pleaded guilty to misdemeanor cyberstalking on September 22nd and received probation, which was violated resulting in jail time. 

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